Love! Why do we all want love. Why are there so many forms of love? I love random things, I love the morning fresh air, I love the color green, and I love a nice pair of comfy shoes. The kind of love that I am talking about is that search for that “one true love”. The one that no matter what it’s there for you. The type of love that makes your stomach turn. The type of love that makes you blind to anything else in the world. The kind of love that just makes you smile when you see them. Why do I want this so bad? Do I already have that kind of love?

I have always known that I have an addictive personality. I get addicted to anything that makes me feel good. This scares me because there are so many things in the world that can make you feel good. I think that we are always looking for the next best thing the next thing that is going to make us happy. That addictive drug that puts us in a euphoria state. I want this every second of every day.

Thank God! I have never put myself in a position to try any drugs because I know that I would love them. I can see what they do to people and these people keep wanting them more and more until there is nothing left of themselves. So, nope I don’t need that in my life.

I have tried the most addictive drug there is and that is love! Everyone on earth is searching for this. Some people have found this already. Some people say they have it but really do not. I think some people think they don’t want love and they are even searching for it.

I have always love to go walking. I can walk alone, I can walk with friends, and I have always loved to go walking with my wife. Lately, I have been just getting up out of the bed in the morning and seeing where my first step takes me. I am not going to worry one second past that. I don’t want to think about the future and I don’t want to think about the past. I can’t because all of it hurts to much and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I only want to think about that second and nothing more. I want to enjoy where I am and see where it takes me. I have never done this before. I have never lived in the moment. I always dwell on the past and dream for the future. I have always gone walking when I was mad, sad, happy, making a plan, talking about the future, or really just to think about anything.

As I was walking this morning it hit me… What if the one true love that I am deeply searching for is ME! If I love me I cant let myself down, I always know what I am thinking, and I don’t have to guess what I want. I don’t have to impress myself. Then I just stood there smiling like I just unlocked the secret code to some impossible vault. Like a little kid that found a tressure map for some crazy awesome adventure with pirates, flying dragons, and caves deep in the jungle.

#13….I have heard it a million times…..You have to love yourself before others can love you! I never believed it but it has got to be true. There have to be people that truly love themselves out there somewhere. I have never been one of them and I am not even sure that I have met one. I guess thats what I have to do…find how to love myself everyday. I am not going to force it, I am not going to do it for anyone else, and I excited to be able to share this love of myself with the world and see where I go. I am going to do it for me.

Now that is a drug that I can get addicted to!!!

God Bless,

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